Aug 13, 2022

Oooooo boy. I am "reading" (listening to the author read it through Audible actually) a book that is really speaking to me right now. It's going to be one of those that I will buy and keep in my library.

A quick intro to the author Kasia: she spent 17 years studying to be a Taoist nun and the way she paid for that was to be a highly successful dominatrix. Well that gave me a laugh! What an unusual story!

This is not a book about sex. She talks about power and particularly women's power or lack of and how to find your way through to embracing your own power. She uses the terms "dominant" and "submissive" and it took about a chapter for me to get used to that but it does make it more clear.

Her way of describing dominant and submissive is interesting as she is describing where the energy is:

Dominant: The energy in a dominate state is outward.

Submissive: The energy in a submissive state is inward.

Neither state is wrong or "bad" and it's important to learn how to be in each state fully—but as humans we unknowingly teach our children to be a certain way by rewarding them for certain things. Girls are generally rewarded for aiming their energy inward—who they ARE: "Look at your pretty dress, you are so sweet." Boys are generally rewarded for aiming their energy outward—what they DO: "Watch Jimmy jump his bike over the ditch!"

My favorite quote: "Women are nouns. Men are verbs." 😳🤯

I really, really want to do the exercises in the book with some women who are interested in learning about this with me!

Anyone local (Triangle area of NC) interested in Book Club in the Barn? Mask free since our barn is basically a great big pavilion with a fence around it :-) Surrounded by goats and horses and of course Sweetness the mini donkey!

If this sounds fun to you, let me know! Think about friends who might be interested too. This would not be a paid thing as I'm learning too. I'd love some women who could commit some time to it. I'm not sure how often, maybe twice a month? We'll see. Shoot me an email if you're as intrigued as I am!

On the fence? Go check out Kasia's TedTalk here and tell me what you think!

Ok, back to regularly scheduled programing!

No! Wait! I wanted to tell you about something that happened first! I'm about halfway through Kasia's book Unbound. I often listen to it while I do ranch chores. Last weekend ManChild and B-Rad drove to Atlanta for a little vacation and to see the aquarium so I was doing more chores and moving through the book quickly. I really wanted to try the idea of putting my energy outward but had no one to do it with. I walked toward the lower pasture where all the animals were and there were the horses, both of them, pushing their chests into the gate. This is normal for them. Usually I tell Rayn, "Back up girlie." and she backs up so I can get into the gate. Not Wynter. He is my 17+ hh (meaning he's very tall at the shoulder, almost 6') gelding. He's sweet as pie, not a mean bone in his body but he uses his body to get what he wants.

Rayn and I are having a sweet moment? He comes ambling over to get some love too, pushing her away in the process. Sweetness and I are having a sweet moment? Here he comes! Raynie pins her ears at him and lets her rear hooves fly (she pulls her punches and very rarely makes contact) and Sweetness is so little and has a hard time letting him know that he doesn't appreciate being pushed around—so he reaches up and nips Wynter on the chest lol.

Anyway! I asked Rayn to back up and she did. Wynter was standing there staring at me. Not moving. Chest against the gate. Head over the gate. In my world we'd call him a "boundary pusher." So, I got grounded (meaning I became aware of my being in my body) I put all my focus on him (not thinking, "Oh I wonder if this will work? What if he won't move? Why is he being like this? What can I do to get him to move? and on and on) I focused on him and only him and said, "Back up bud."

It took him about 10 seconds—that big draft body is just a little slower than Rayn—and...



The next day I did the same and it worked again. The day after too. On day four, I headed out toward the pasture and found both horses 15 feet away from the gate I use:



I'm going through some old pics to look for things to paint and found this one of my mom, the infamous-wine-in-the-baby-pool with 1 year old ManChild. She is freaking fabulous ❤️

And my parents wonder where in the world I got my need to just be me and the hell with what anyone else thinks. Haha. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

This is my most favorite meal on earth—caprese salad with avacados. I could eat it every day!

Look! A few of the muscadine grapes are ripe!


My Aunt Katy and I went to breakfast at the Flying Biscuit Cafe in Raleigh this weekend and then headed off to Artspace to see some new art. What fun!

Here's my grits story: A million years ago (1983) we moved from southern CA to NC, I was 14. My best friend Michelle came to visit me a few years later. We went to breakfast at this place in downtown Raleigh called Big Ed's. The waitress came to take our order and Michelle, asked to replace the biscuit with an English muffin. This is common in a lot of restaurants but in 1983 NC...well, not so much. The waitress said they didn't have any English muffins but Michelle could substitute grits if she wanted.

Michelle said, "What's a grit?"


If you don't know, that bowl below has grits in it. They are a little strange, made out of corn, and as my husband says, are a conveyor of butter lol

I'm absolutely tickled about the moss growing on my front patio!

I think this is a Luna Moth but I don't know if it's at the beginning of its life or the end. Anyone know? It was about the size of my palm.

I'm not sure what kind of mushroom this white one is but I'm pretty sure the deer are eating them. We have a ton of them in our forest right now. I really wish I could capture a pic of the baby deer but they are FAST!

I really need to find my mushroom book! What is this yellow one?

And this beautiful red one? Still haven't seen the red chanterelles yet!

I thought you'd like to see the 4 baby geese now! I love how they still hang out together!

Carolina blue

Just because:


This freaked me out so much!


My family are all from Ohio and this is always how it was and still is done :-) The "watch for deer" was an NC add on though lol

Gamma is an artist out of Longmont, Colorado where I lived. I once stopped to talk to him while he was painting and he told me that he had only just picked up art a few years before. He's just a natural. He uses spray paint and his work is incredible. This was just posted on his FB page this week. Powerful.

If you are in my area (Apex, NC and surrounding areas) I'm offering a special deal for you to come try out neurofeedback and/or coaching!

Half off your first neurofeedback session ($35 for 45 minutes instead of $70)

$25 off your first Equine Gestalt Coaching session ($100 for an hour instead of $125)

Half off your first Reiki session ($45 for an hour instead of $90)

Please take me up on these—and yes, you can use all three, in fact I encourage it! Doing neurofeedback or Reiki before a coaching session puts you in a regulated state which the animals love and is ideal for the work. Doing neurofeedback or Reiki after helps you process your session :-) so it works either way. The coaching setting is beautiful with the horses, donkey, and goats and in my air conditioned neurofeedback room you have a view of the pond and the wildlife that surrounds it. We are in a covered barn for coaching so are in the shade and out of any rain or weather. Reiki can be inside or outside in the barn, depending on weather and client wishes.

You can read about neurofeedback here!

Thank you for reading :-) My blog is reader-supported—that's you my wonderful friends! The best way to support my work locally (Research Triangle area of NC) is:

I'm a life coach and partner with horses to help people heal—schedule an Equine Gestalt Coaching session.
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