Reynaud's Syndrome, a God Pop, & warm ๐Ÿ‘ฃ๐Ÿ˜

Jan 17, 2024

At the end of Mom’s life, I developed Reynaud’s Syndrome. I wondered if I was just picking up on her stuff as my body is wont to do:

but I’ve since learned that while Reynaud’s often begins in teen years, runs in families, and is mostly in women, it can also be brought on by high stress, chemo, etc. As it began happening to Mom after chemo started, I’m assuming it was brought on by high stress and chemo and just plain old high stress for me. Who the heck knows. Over the year since Mom’s been gone, I’ve been learning to pay more attention to my body:

-she tells me when we are cold but I had been ignoring her my whole life and just kept going!
-she tells me when we are stressed and reminds me to do a neurofeedback session or meditate, or both!
-she tells me to take the extra two seconds and add gloves and a hat to my farm jacket pockets in the winter
-she tells me to put on an extra pair of socks
 
Such normal things that you would think an adult would already know. But as much as I pay attention, there is still so much about my physical body that I ignore. (And I mean come on, I lived in Colorado—that's real cold! I must just be being a baby about this! Ugh.)
 
If I listen and put a hoodie on or take a 15 min break to meditate, then I’m usually brought back to balance. But if not…I’m tense all over, freezing, and some of my fingertips turn white and hurt.
 
Sometimes it takes a lot for my body to get my attention.
 
My Mom used to say, “Are you going to pay attention to the nudges your Inner Voice is giving you, or will you wait until she whaps your head into a brick wall?”
 
Up until now, I've often unintentionally preferred the brick wall ๐Ÿ™„
 
This week my Inner Voice popped in to offer me a wonderful hint!

So I took one of our electric heating pads, wrapped it in a towel, and plugged it in under my desk. I’m not sure I can describe the deliciousness of warm feet all the time. It’s just soooooo good ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘ฃ. With that heat, I realized that my feet get cold first, then my body, then my hands, then my fingertips go white. Ah. I see. Warm feet are key!
 
 
 
And then I think about why I don't pay closer attention to my body when she's giving me all this info? Is it a human thing? Is it a woman thing? Is it a woman in a patriarchal society thing? Is it a neurodivergent thing? I meet so many women who can relate to pushing all that physical and emotional input aside. Just an interesting little bit for me to mull...
 
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