The Rollercoaster of Caregiving and Self Care

This week I realized the severity of caregiver burn out in my dad (he’s been in caregiver mode for a year, culminating in my mom’s massive back surgery a few weeks ago) and alternatively what that means for the caregivee. My aunt and I “kidnapped” my mom and brought her to my house, giving them both a break and a change of scenery.

It’s so hard to be a caregiver. And as a caregiver, it’s hard to watch others be caregivers and not, well...caregive LOL.

Over the years I’ve learned more on how to be a healthy caregiver. Most of us have heard the airline tell us, “Put your oxygen mask on before helping your child with theirs and every mom I know says, “OMG! Can you imagine??” When the logic of why comes to light we realize that it makes sense but both our hardware (DNA) and software (family and societal teachings) want to fight that logic.

So this week is a rollercoaster of using my caregiver skills for both my mom and myself and trying to find the balance—🙄😆 For sure easier said than done.

Down: I have to get up at 2am for Mom’s pain medicine,
Up: so I’m going to bed earlier and sleeping in later.

Up: I thought I could handle making dinner and did a lot of chopping and prep sitting down (still have this broken ankle/foot to manage.)
Down: Still overdid it making that dinner, damn.

Up: So I stayed on my knee scooter more the next day.
Down: which made my knee and hip ache! OMG! E N O U G H already!

Up: Today I’m typing this into my phone while in the tub with a ton of Epsom salts
Up: and plan to do a neurofeedback
Up: and visit the animals
Up: and post a blog and newsletter
Up: and get takeout for dinner
Up: and watch a movie on the couch with popcorn tonight with my boys and mom
Up: And to give myself some compassion and realize that the up down up of these past few days is a LOT better than I used to be able to do where I could only caregive others and never myself. Which led to me being angry...A LOT.

The goal is for the ups and downs to be a little smoother, more like tiny blips instead of a screaming rollercoaster :-)

May your week be more blippy and less screamy.

Love to all from the Mother Ranch,

Julia

PS Here's a new "zine" about being able to hold more than one emotion, because I needed reminding.