There is a clan of women... (Reactive Attachment Disorder/RAD)

A member of our clan was killed this week.
She was a good mom,
an advocate for her children.

There is a clan of women
with abusive children,
hiding underground.
You don’t see our black eyes and split lips.
You don’t see their siblings cowering in fear.

If you do see the bruises
you assume something else.
Maybe we’ve been in an accident or
maybe that invisible “someone” hurt us.
And we allow this assumption
because if we told you the truth,
you wouldn’t believe it.

There is a piece of us
that understands your disbelief,
because back in the “before”
we used to be you.

Judging a life we had no knowledge of.
Assuming love was enough to heal.
Offering parenting advice in the face of abuse.
Like you,
we just didn’t know.

A member of our clan was killed this week.
Living this life without support is too hard,
families crumble under the strain.
Please see us.
Don’t look away when we tell you
what’s really happening in our homes.
I know it’s horrible to bear the thought,
that children can hurt their families.
But no matter their age—
Hurt people can often,
hurt people.

I know it’s hard
but as Glennon Doyle likes to say,
“We can do hard things."
Your support (even just a non-judgemental ear) could mean the difference
between life and death for us.

Love to all from the Mother Ranch,

Julia

PS In case you're new here, we are no longer in danger. I am a forever member of the clan though and I read stories every day that concern me. I write to shine a light on the abuse in hope that someday people will really see us and our lives will begin to change for the better.

If you know a family who needs support because they have a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder, please send them here: The Underground World of RAD on Facebook

If you're the family with a kid with RAD and you need help, please check out RAD Advocates.