In 2020 start with yes...or maybe no...

Yesterday I saw a sign that said, "Start with yes." and I immediately thought, "Or no."

Sometimes life is hard. Hard, like, death defying hard. Hanging on by your fingernails hard. Brittle smile to the outside world, crying at night in the closet hard. Sometimes, in the midst of that hard, it gets harder because people give well meaning advice on a situation they have no concept of—and that advice, instead of helping you feel better or giving you an idea you could use, makes it all so much worse. It suddenly becomes clear: no one understands. You are alone.

At the end of one of my years like this (this was about 6 years ago) it occurred to me that the kindest thing I could do for myself was to say no. No to joining the PTA. No to being room mom. No to anything that led to more stress in my life. My only job was to stay alive and help my son stay alive. That was it. Not thrive, just survive.

And that "No." helped me do just that.

Here we are, 4 years post stress and life continues to get better. We are healing. I find myself "starting with yes" more often.

To those out there who just need to say no for their sanity and survival: I see you. I pray for you. I hope that someday you will return to a life of thriving where you can happily say, "Yes." again.

Love to all from the Mother Ranch,

Julia

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