Sacrificing

I’m very aware (again) of how I often I don’t take into account my own wants or needs, not for the important stuff anyway. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m upfront and out loud about, say, how my living room should be decorated or what color the walls should be.

Obviously the house and ranch buildings should all be yellow. Obviously. Who doesn’t want to come home to a yellow house?

The other things though, those quiet things that I don’t allow myself. A glass of water when I’m busy but thirsty. A trip to the restroom. A walk with the horses, goats, or dogs in the sunshine. Seriously? Seriously???

I work from home you guys! I can do these things but nooooo, I must, apparently, … here are the words that come readily to mind:

Sacrifice myself.

Never take myself seriously.

Punish myself.

Lord have mercy.

This has come up many times recently. I’m working through it. I counteract my water issue with keeping a big glass of water at my desk. Most days I go visit the animals in the sunshine but on the days I don’t, I beat myself up about it for awhile (and sometimes a long while) before realizing, stopping, and saying, “Hey, look, you have a lot on your plate, you are doing the best you can do.”

Perfectionism rears its ugly head just as often as sacrificing myself.

I re-read this and think, “My goodness, you’re quite the mess!”

Oh shut up.

I’m more aware, and that’s positive! I’m working toward being kinder to myself, finding these hidden little bits and holding them up to the light and telling them, “You are safe. You are loved. It’s okay for you to be seen.”

Love to all from the Mother Ranch,

Julia

Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Pinterest, and my store on Etsy!