Homeschooling and the "Fear" in the Fear & Love

With Brad's retirement, I'm able to focus full time on growing my business. Yippee!!! AND, we have been homeschooling the ManChild since last spring.

Our new schedule is:

9am-12pm he's in math, science, piano with Brad, while I work alone.

12-3pm I have him for lunch, reading, writing, spelling, grammar, neurofeedback —then he's free and I go back to work until 6 or 7.

This is all new so there is, and probably will be for awhile, an adjustment for the boys. I'm happy to be working lol. So we all had some words about that. Brad yelling (not at anyone, just yelling), the ManChild yelling. Coach that I am, I asked them, "What's the fear under this?"

You guys know this right? The idea that there is only fear and love. Are you angry, frustrated, yelling? See if you can find the fear under all of that. The love part is easy to get, the fear part...well people have a lot of investment in their anger—and who the hell wants to admit they are scared?? It takes some time and effort to find the fear under the fuss but it's there.

Brad was frustrated, under it, he’s scared the ManChild will have to redo 6th grade. He won't, of course, but this is the fear and fear isn't always rational.

I ask the ManChild, "What are you scared of?"
"I don't know." (I know he does because we've talked about it before so I don't fall for this.)
"I'm scared because..."
"I'm disappointed."
I say, "I'm disappointed because..."
“Because…I’m afraid I won’t understand it.”

YAY! Words! Emotions! Truth!

We talked about how when you learn something new, you often don’t know anything about it, maybe a little bit, but not much. That’s what learning is for. No one expects you to know it up front. So, now they are down there working together finally and I’m back in my pretty office by myself with the door locked! :-)

Just as I was writing this, ManChild came up with a smile on his face. He had just finished math and was starting science. Success!

Love to all from the Mother Ranch,

Julia

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