The Underground World of RAD--why are we "underground?"

The Underground World of RAD are a group of parents and caregivers, usually moms (adoptive, foster, bio, or stepmoms) who have, or have had, children with Reactive Attachment Disorder living in our homes.

We are “underground” because children with RAD have a specific set of symptoms that make it hard for the outside world to detect what’s going on. Professionals, including therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, medical doctors, clergy and teachers are most often “snowed” by the child. The child looks, to the outside world, as if she were a perfect angel-- while at home she is full of rage and abusive behavior. 

Why is she angry and abusive? Because Reactive Attachment Disorder is caused by trauma. Children with RAD have been abused and/or neglected when they were very young and their brains didn’t develop in the typical way. They really have a right to be angry. They do not have a right to be abusive.

Here are a few of the symptoms that relate to this particular piece of RAD, where the child fools the outside world:

• cannot give or receive honest affection
• often engaging and charming, but only superficially
• false allegations
• gaslighting 
• triangulation 
• extreme manipulation
• little eye contact

When the child with RAD is at home, she is angry and abusive. She’s often frightening to be around. Often the nicest thing she has to say is, “I HATE YOU!” while pushing mom away.

When mom takes her kids outside to play with the group of neighborhood kids and mothers that gather in the afternoons, the child with RAD is sunshine and roses. She waits until her mom is talking among all the other mothers and then runs up with a big smile, throws her arms around her mother, and beams up at her, “I love you so much mommy!” As soon as the other mothers start to gush about how sweet she is, she angles her head so no one else can see her eyes and they meet her mother’s, throwing her a triumphant smile.

In the early days of this happening, the mom acts instinctively and pushes her daughter away. The lie is too much for a new RAD mom. The other mothers are horrified. (As time goes on, the mother resigns herself to this display and steels herself for the smiles and hugs that hurt.)

And this is the beginning of a life of isolation from friends.

This same story often plays out inside the home with her parents. When dad is home the child with RAD is easier, maybe not sunshine and roses, but much easier to live with. The moment dad leaves the house (even just to the garage or to get the mail), his daughter lays into mom and younger siblings doing things that, if he had seen or heard, would have had her father charging back in like an angry bull. So often, he never sees the abuse. He sees what she wants him to see. Later, when the kids are in bed, he finds his exhausted wife curled up in bed sobbing. Through the tears, she tells him what her day was like. He is confused. His daughter seemed fairly happy all evening. His wife is distraught. Her anger slowly fades to depression. He begins to wonder if she’s not well…is that why she keeps telling him stories that are obviously blown out of proportion? Has she not attached?

And this is the beginning of a life of isolation from her husband.

Grandma is visiting! The child with RAD really puts it on for her grandmother and they bond over makeup, nail polish, and clothes. Grandma is ecstatic over her girly granddaughter. She’s fun and sparkly. Sure, she’s a “spirited child” and “quite the handful” but her bright smile and booming laugh are infectious. While mom gets her kids ready for bed upstairs and away from grandma, her daughter says hateful things to her and pushes her away, hits her brother, and kicks the dog. Later, when mom, in tears, tells her own mother about what is going on, it’s brushed aside, “Oh well…you and your sister were bratty sometimes too.”

And this is the beginning of a life of isolation from her family.

Due to the nature of RAD most of us are not believed. Many of us have taken to online groups (and if we’re lucky, in-person support groups) where we can speak the truth. It’s such a relief to find that we are not alone in this life of fear.

And so, Reactive Attachment Disorder remains largely misunderstood and hidden.

There are many safe groups out there, most are closed and you have to ask to join, some are even considered “secret” where someone has to invite you to join. And yet, there are thousands of women who find their way in and find solace in a tribe of sisters who are enduring daily abuse in their own homes. 

Are you a parent in the trenches, or have a child with RAD somewhere in your family? Join the facebook group called The Underground World of RAD. This is a safe place to find support. This is also a place where we will be educating professionals. You can learn more once you're there! If you're a mental health professional that would like to learn more, please contact me julia@TheMotherRanch.com

Please feel free to share this post (and maybe share just a little of your own story.) Make sure to set your own settings for your facebook post to "Public" so others can share as well.

We are getting the word out! 170,000+ people read my last post and it's all because of you! I see your posts flying across facebook and feel the power behind your words. I see you telling others, "Please share, I've made it public." and I am in awe of your power. I've gotten dozens of emails telling me stories like, "I posted my story on facebook and a long lost friend contacted me. We had the best talk, she listened and really heard me!" or "I posted my story on facebook and 60 people had supportive things to say!"

I see you. You are vulnerable, with your heart exposed to the world--scared but doing it anyway. 

Hi, I'm Julia and I'm a trauma-informed certified Equine Gestalt Coach, Reiki Master, and artist. I combine my skills to create an individualized care plan for each client. As an adoptive mother of two (one healthy and one with RAD), I am intimately familiar with the trials and tribulations RAD moms and their glass children face as they navigate the muddy waters of life with a mentally ill child. While I see many types of people in my practice, my heart and my specialty is the health and healing of RAD moms and their glass children. 
Learn more at The Mother Ranch.

Florida School Shooting and the Underground World of RAD

There is an underground world of RAD moms and they are more frightened than ever this week. The Reactive Attachment Disorder facebook groups are lit up with information and worry about the Florida shooter. It's coming up because the shooter was adopted, the police were at his home multiple times as he grew up, and then to top off his trauma, his adoptive parents died. These RAD moms are saying: "This will be my kid someday."  and "This is why my child with RAD needs to be somewhere safe."

We don't yet know what Nikolas Cruz's early years were like, and may never know as his adoptive parents are deceased but there are a lot of similarities to the life we know.

New York Times: 
In the hours after the shooting, people who knew Mr. Cruz described him as a "troubled kid" who enjoyed showing off his firearms, bragging about killing animals and whose mother would resort to calling the police to have them come to their home to try to talk some sense into him.

CNN:
Broward County Mayor Beam Furr said during an interview with CNN that the shooter was getting treatment at a mental health clinic for a while, but that he hadn't been back to the clinic for more than a year.  "It wasn't like there wasn't concern for him," Furr said. "We try to keep our eyes out on those kids who aren't connected ... Most teachers try to steer them toward some kind of connections. ... In this case, we didn't find a way to connect with this kid," Furr said. 

Gordon Weeks, another attorney representing Cruz, added, “When your brain is not fully developed, you don’t know how to deal with these things. That’s the child I’m sitting across from. The child is deeply troubled and he has endured significant trauma that stems from the loss of his mother.” 

As RAD moms, we wonder, "Does Nikolas Cruz have RAD?"

What is Reactive Attachment Disorder or RAD?

A quick and easy description is given by the Institute of Attachment and Child Development: A disorder in which children’s brains and development get disrupted by trauma they endured before the age of 3. They’re unable to trust others and attach in relationships.

Unfortunately, it's so much more than that quick and easy description.

RAD is often thought of as only a mental illness that adopted children suffer from but this is not true. I know children with RAD who are step kids, bio kids, foster kids, and adopted kids. This isn't an adoption issue, this is a trauma issue. As children from severe trauma often end up in the system and are adopted, RAD is most often found in the adoption world. However, not all adopted children have RAD.

RAD symptoms:

• cannot give or receive affection
• no empathy
• extreme manipulation
• long arguments over ridiculous things
• hypervigilance  
• often engaging and charming, but only superficially
• nonsense questions and unrelenting chatter
• “mad peeing” (peeing all over the house when angry, years after potty training and up into teen years—this can happen with feces as well)
• crazy lying and stealing
• little eye contact
• no cause and effect thinking
• poor hygiene
• triangulation
• parents (particularly the mother) seem hostile and/or confused


Severe RAD symptoms are the above and also:

• threatening behavior, particularly toward the mother and siblings
• hurting or killing pets
• abusing mother and/or siblings--physical, emotional, verbal, psychological, sexual
• false allegations
• threatening harm to self or others
• gaslighting 

Again, these behaviors all stem from early childhood abuse and/or neglect. Children with RAD are angry and they have every right to be.

If Nikolas had early childhood trauma, from losing his birth mother and/or abuse or neglect, then he could have undiagnosed RAD. As we all scroll through facebook and watch the news we are faced with judgements aimed at the adoptive parents of Nikolas: 
"He needed more discipline."
"A good spanking would have fixed him."
"Where were his parents?"
"Maybe this wouldn't have happened if the parents would have spent more time with him."
"Why wasn't he in therapy?"

The mere thought of this riles RAD moms. We work hard to get help for our children with RAD, we learn therapeutic parenting skills, we beg for help but are more often than not met with misunderstanding and simple parenting strategies. "Try a sticker chart!" we are told. "Hug them more, spend more time with them. They just need more love!" We are not believed when we tell the truth, "My child is trying to harm her brother." We are surrounded by ignorant (not stupid, but ignorant) "professionals" who have very little, if any, trauma training. 

We need and want help but there are so few resources out there and the good ones are often private only. No insurance will cover them. If RAD parents are able to get their child in, these resources can work on the children with less severe RAD. 

But what about the children with severe RAD? 

These are the kids who have killed their pets and the parents are not believed. 

These are the children whose parents have had to defend themselves against physical attacks, have been listening to their child with RAD tell them she wants to kill them and then they find the knives she's been hiding in her bedroom and the parents are not believed. 

These are the kids who have tried to maim and/or kill their siblings (please read about glass children!) and the parents are not believed. 

These are children who rape their younger siblings and the parents are not believed. 

These are the kids that no one knows how to help. Yet. Some of them can live in super structured group homes where people care for them but do not love them. As surprising as that seems, the "care not love" can help. Love is much too frightening for children with RAD. Love triggers them and creates the violent behaviors. This is hard to believe. It took me years to realize the truth. To get an inkling of how this works, read the bottom paragraph of this post. Others end up in prison for the things they do. Still others continue to be in their adoptive homes and the entire household lives under video cameras and terror.


What You Can Do


As a nation, we know we need better mental health services but what can you do, right now, today?

Be kind. Suspend disbelief. Reserve judgement. Listen. Find out more. Be supportive. 

The next time you hear about a troubled child, don't immediately jump to the conclusion that the parents are at fault. When you hear about a mom who has found a group home, an RTC (Residential Treatment Center), a boarding school, or a wilderness camp for their child with RAD and you think, "How could she?? I could never!" please remember she isn't talking about children like yours. She's talking about a kid who could easily be the next mass shooter. She's not being a drama queen, she's lived through things you might be thankful you don't know about. Her search for a safe place for her child with RAD, is to keep her family safe, her loved ones and friends safe, her community safe, and her mentally ill child as safe as possible. We don't want our child with RAD to have the opportunity to hurt others. We don't want to be the parents of the next mass shooter. If you know someone who is making a decision to place a child she loves outside of the home, support her. Then, hold your healthy children close and be thankful for what you don't know.

Join The Underground World of RAD facebook group.

Hi, I'm Julia and I'm a trauma-informed certified Equine Gestalt Coach, Reiki Master, and artist. I combine my skills to create an individualized care plan for each client. As an adoptive mother of two (one healthy and one with RAD), I am intimately familiar with the trials and tribulations RAD moms and their glass children face as they navigate the muddy waters of life with a mentally ill child. While I see many types of people in my practice, my heart and my specialty is the health and healing of RAD moms and their glass children. 
Learn more at The Mother Ranch.




 

RAD Moms, Glass Children and COPING SKILLS

Children are well known for their impressive coping skills.

Said no one ever. 

Glass children even less so. When parents are overwhelmed with the care of a special needs, mentally ill RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) child, their glass children end up with gaps in their emotional growth. One of those gaps is coping skills. 

Moms themselves are barely holding on by their fingernails and are just doing their very best to keep everyone safe day by day. Their coping skills are pushed to the edge, how are they supposed to teach appropriate coping skills to their glass children?

They don’t. 

No. They can’t. 

So, glass children learn coping skills from:
•watching their stressed out mothers and fathers
•watching their mentally ill sibling/s with RAD
•watching other siblings
•watching friends, if they still have any (RAD families are often isolated due to the nature of the mental illness)

This is why one of my jobs is to teach self-awareness and self-regulation, aka coping skills. Horses are amazing at this work. They won’t connect when kids are dysregulated but when a simple, “step one” coping skill like breathing is implemented, the horse tunes back in with the child—proving to them that it works and rewarding them for trying. As the simple skills are mastered, we move on to more difficult emotional work, like speaking feelings out loud and asking for what they want or need. Big work for kids who have always been known as “the good ones, the quiet ones, the ones who never need anything.” 

If you have a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder and a healthy child who needs extra support, please contact me at julia@themotherranch.com or 720-635-7015. Watch your "easy kids" for signs of depression, withdrawal from the family, immersing themselves in obsessive behaviors that keep them checked out from reality, and bursts of rage. Set up a free tour of the Mother Ranch and visit the facility, the horses, mini donkeys, goats, sheep, chickens, and dogs. Sessions here gives your child a chance to get away from the life of a glass child, learn self-awareness and regulation (coping skills) and how to create safe and connected relationships. 

Hi, I'm Julia and I'm a trauma-informed certified Equine Gestalt Coach, Reiki Master, and artist. I combine my skills to create an individualized care plan for each client. As an adoptive mother of two (one healthy and one with RAD), I am intimately familiar with the trials and tribulations RAD moms and their glass children face as they navigate the muddy waters of life with a mentally ill child. While I see many types of people in my practice, my heart and my specialty is the health and healing of RAD moms and their glass children. 
Learn more at The Mother Ranch.

You are not alone.

I thought I’d share about what taking 2 years away from blogging was like for me. 

It was sorrowful.

I began blogging in September of 2007 in preparation for Michael and Maddie’s arrival. I knew the stories would be funny and gross because that’s motherhood right? I grew up on Erma Bombeck books, my mother would read snippets to me amid gales of laughter. When I was older I read many of them myself—what a talent she was! 

I wrote to sort out my thoughts and to tell a story. I wrote for my kids. I wrote to inform others about Reactive Attachment Disorder. I wrote to find answers. 

I stopped writing in September 2015 when there were no answers, when few believed me, when there was no way to help my daughter and no way out. I like to tell myself, “I was on a break.” and I suppose in a way I was. It was a, “I can’t cope anymore.” kind of break. 

My daughter left our home two years ago, December 9, 2015. She was 10 years old. She will not return. (more on this later) She is in a place where she is doing well.

In these last two years I yearned for creativity but there was nothing I could do. I tried to write but nothing came out. I wanted to tell the story but the story was so overwhelmingly huge that I couldn’t comprehend where to even begin. I thought maybe I could go back to painting but even that eluded me. My mind was a big blank. Big chunks of the previous 6 years (the amount of time my daughter lived with us) was gone. I couldn’t construct linear stories anymore. I couldn’t even speak them. 

I was to soon find out that these are just a few of the symptoms of PTSD.

I worried that people wouldn’t understand what had happened but the vast majority of people I told actually did. I worried that someone would say something horrible and I would come unglued. A few did and I didn’t. Come unglued that is. I explained that children who had been exposed to trauma in their developmental years (0-3 years old) sometimes have been so severely harmed that they abuse their family. Yes, children can be abusive. Surprising to me, most people had a story of their own or a close relative where something similar happened--children who harmed others. Yet another instance where mental illness isn't talked about. 

I told myself, yet again, “You know, there wouldn’t be such a stigma if we could all speak out about this!”

Mental illness IS scary but when I expose it to the light it’s a bit better. My daughter has PTSD and RAD. My son and I have PTSD from living with her abuse. 

What do I want from writing this time around? Yes, I want to sort out my thoughts, a story for my kids, and to teach others about RAD. 

I also write to bring light to the dark corners of families who live with a mentally ill child. 

I write to find connection. 

I expose my story so others can find an inkling of hope. 

I write to offer support. 

I write so that you know that you are not alone.

Triangulation & WHY Mothers!?

In families that have a child with RAD there is typically a situation that is called, “triangulation.” In simple terms, it means that the child with RAD is two different people with her parents. 

The child with RAD abuses (emotionally, verbally, physically) her adoptive mother when dad is not nearby and does so on many levels (directly or indirectly by hurting her other children, pets, etc.)

 

...(I have migrated this post and others to my new blog, you can read it in full here.)

ACE Test for Glass Children

ACE Questionnaire for Glass Children who have a sibling with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) currently or previously living in the home.

ACE=Adverse Childhood Experiences
Glass Children=Children who live with a special needs sibling (in this case RAD) and who are unintentionally looked through by parents who are constantly stamping out behavioral, emotional, and sometimes literal, fires.

While living in your family home:

1. Did a sibling or child in the household often or very often...swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you? Or act in a way that made you afraid that you might be physically hurt?
No___If Yes, enter 1 __

2. Did a sibling or child in the household often or very often...push, grab, slap, or throw something at you? Or ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured?
No___If Yes, enter 1 __

3. Did a sibling or child in the household ever...touch or fondle you or have you touch their body in a sexual way?
No___If Yes, enter 1 __

4. Did you often or very often feel that...no one in your family loved you or thought you were important or special? Or your family didn’t look out for each other, feel close to each other, or support each other?
No___If Yes, enter 1 __

5. Did you often or very often feel that...you didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you?
No___If Yes, enter 1 __

6. Was a biological parent ever lost to you through divorce, abandonment, or other reason?
No___If Yes, enter 1 __

7. Was your mother or stepmother:
Often or very often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her? Or sometimes, often, or very often kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard? Or ever repeatedly hit over at least a few minutes or threatened with a gun or knife? Did a sibling or a child in the household swear at her, insult her, put her down, or humiliate her? Or act in a way that made her afraid that she or one of her children might be physically hurt?
No___If Yes, enter 1 __

8. Did you live with a sibling or a child who was a problem drinker or alcoholic, or who used street drugs? Or was anyone in your household a “cutter” (used sharp objects to harm themselves)?
No___If Yes, enter 1 __

9. Was a sibling or a child in the household depressed or mentally ill, or did a sibling or child in the household attempt suicide?
No___If Yes, enter 1 __

10. Did a sibling or a child in the household go to prison, a therapeutic treatment center, a residential treatment center, group home, boarding school, into the foster care system, or was adopted into a different family?
No___If Yes, enter 1 __

Now add up your “Yes” answers: __   This is your ACE Score.


•This is a modified version of the ACEs test. For the original ACE test: https://acestoohigh.com
•Learn more about the CDC/Kaiser Permanente ACE study: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/acestudy/

An equine partnered coaching session

I'm often asked to explain an equine partnered coaching session--here is a wonderful example:

I had a client recently who felt he was never in his body. One of the first things he said was, "I want to be in my body. I think a lot of my physical ailments might subside if I could be comfortable in my body."

We worked through a couple of older issues before bringing Rayn into the coaching barn with us. As we talked more about his wish of being in his body, Rayn went from standing quietly with us to a big stretch upward. Have you ever seen a cat stretch by arching it's neck and back? That is what she looked like...in a 1,200 pound version. I didn't think much of it until she did it again, and then again--this time looking me in the eye. 

"Ah. Yes, I hear you." I thought to her. I then asked the client what he was feeling when he saw her stretching like that. He smiled. "I feel like she's showing me how good it feels to be in my body. That it's a safe place to be. I can just "feel" the stretch she is showing me."

Immediately after he said that, Rayn lay down next to us. Now, know that we are in a 24'x24' barn. While it's just the client and me in our chairs, it's not a lot of space and I've never had a horse lay down in there before. Rayn went down with her back to us and, again, looked over at me from one eye.

:-) "Yes, yes. Thank you."

I laughed, "Ok, well you know horses. This is not normal. What do you make of this?" He immediately blurted out, "That I can be in my body and JUST RELAX in it. It's not a fuss or a fight. I'm safe in here. I can own this space. I deserve to take up this spot. I can have my boundaries and just relax."

How beautiful. Thank you Rayn for sharing what he needed to see in a way that would make a difference to him. I know he won't forget your sweet, soft lesson.

My own lesson from this session was this: I sometimes wait too long before setting a boundary (needing to say no and being scared to do it) and then I feel crotchety, mean, and taken advantage of. When I finally do say no, I'm not kind about it. I'm defensive and that feels icky. Setting boundaries in a healthy way means to say no when I need to and then settling back and relaxing into it--the feeling I got when I saw Rayn lay down next to us. Next time I need to set a boundary, I will think of Rayn and her gentle lesson.

 

 

White Chicken Red Hat

Most were uncertain why she left her family to strike out on her own but personally I heard her say it was "Boyfriend" and his harem of females.

"He's not particularly kind. He talks a lot about himself and his beautiful white "Silkie" feathers but he doesn't bother telling me how pretty MY white feathers are and he has never, not even ONCE mentioned my beautiful red hat."

She had had enough.

The minute she arrived at the Mother Ranch in their moveable house she ran for it. In all the chaos of the big move everyone was in a tizzy, talking about what had happened and wondering what was going to happen next. In a frenzy of homemaking, six of the harem laid eggs almost immediately. Boyfriend strutted around the house yelling at the girls to stop talking so loudly, they sounded like a bunch of...well, you know.

Watching the hubbub, White Chicken Red Hat knew. She had been all broody with her plan to escape at the old house but with the big move, the time was now. Acting exactly the same as the harem she shrieked and carried on with all the drama she could muster, "I don't know what we're going to do! That was the scariest thing ever! What if...! Oh no...! And then...!" And before anyone knew what was what she had slipped out the chicken door and took off at a dead run. She ran like a chicken with her head...well, you know. 

to be continued...

Laura Longtail's lambing story

Brad and I were finishing prep for a class that another coach was going to hold at our ranch-including evening chores and moving the sheep and their dogs to pasture 3.

The coach arrived along with one student and the guardian dogs were barking up a storm. I passed Brad in our work and he said quietly, "We're missing a mama sheep." Three ewes and their lambs were nearby but I didn't see Laura Longtail. I looked way out in the pasture and could see her standing completely still out in the middle of the tall grass. That was odd. Tess and Duke saw her and went barreling toward her. They stopped about 50 feel from her and became statues themselves--tails high and stiff.

By that time I was walking out because it all felt really weird. As I got closer I realized that Laura Longtail's tail was sticking straight out. Huh. She started walking toward me and as she got closer I saw her udder was huge and the teats were bright pink! Wha?? She passed me and I saw what the problem was, there was a lamb, stuck. It's nose, part of his muzzle, and one foot.

We didn't even know she was pregnant. 

Laura Longtail is a first time mom.

I called our friend Nancy and asked her for advice. She said not to worry too much, sometimes stuck lambs can survive. She said to find the other foot, pull it out, pull the lamb out, swing it by it's back legs and give chest compressions if needed.

I called Brad out to the field and with some tricky maneuvering we were able to get the flock and their dogs out of the pasture while keeping Laura Longtail in. Brad caught and wrestled Laura Longtail onto the ground and I got to work. I was able to just fit half of my right hand inside, right next to the lamb's head--what a tight squeeze! In a few minutes I found the lamb's other hoof and using her contractions was able to get the foot out. With a few short pushes by Laura Longtail, the baby lamb slid out onto the ground. No heartbeat. I quickly scooped him up and swung him (a giant ram lamb) by his back legs, trying to get things moving along. All I could think of was, "Come on little lamb, please survive." Placing him back on the ground and still no heartbeat, I did chest compressions. Nothing. I tried swinging and chest compressions one more time. Still nothing. Sigh. 

Okay. This is the hard part of ranching.

Brad brought the flock back in, they went out to graze, and I brought the lamb up to his mom's head and she began licking him. This was the saddest part. I wasn't sure how long to leave him with her. Do I take him away? Do I wait until he's clean and dry? I decided to wait and sat down next to her. Tess, their livestock guardian dog, waited with me--laying on the other side of the fence, holding space for us all. She was very calm and her calm seeped into me. Laura Longtail gently cleaned her baby for about five minutes. She stopped to look at him for a moment and then placed one of her nostrils directly onto one of his. Waited. A few seconds passed and she repeated it. She breathed. He didn't. She slowly got to her feet and walked away, back to the flock. 

As a child and into adulthood I've always loved the James Herriot books. Living on this ranch, one of my dreams was to assist an animal giving birth. I'm so glad I could save Laura Longtail. I'm sad I couldn't save her lamb.

Early Morning Sogginess

5:00am. Wake up to a downpour. Think it sounds pretty...

Really hear it. Wonder about the animals. Decide everyone is fine. 
Realize all the windows in the small goat barn are open! 

Listen. Doesn't seem windy. Seems to be coming straight down. 

Drift toward sleep...

Hear the wind. Shit. It's now coming into MY open windows! Get up, close my windows. Dogs don't stir. Even the pup. No one wants to go out. 

Put on socks and heavy robe. Walk around house, closing all the windows, most were just cracked. Whew. 

Go to mudroom to get my boots. 

!!!!!!

I had left ALL the windows WIDE open. Slate (thank God) floor soaked, along with the wood windowsills. Ugh. Add heavy Carhart hooded jacket to my robe and boots. Big white livestock guardian dogs ERUPT IN FURY the second I step out of the house. Obviously an intruder is escaping OUT of the house. I whistle. The screaming continues. I call to them. Nothing. They are pretty damn scary when they don't know who you are. I'm happy about this :-). 

Slosh through puddles to goat barn. How long has it been raining?? Goats are bedded down and completely dry. Yay. Slide windows nearly closed and slosh back. 

At least my worry for the goats saved my mudroom from flooding!

My ManChild and my Rayn

Our first Goat Yoga class at the Mother Ranch!

 
I'll let the pictures speak for themselves :-)

Silence of the Lambs

 
I expected a ruckus but I guess lambs are pretty quiet in order to hide from predators. On Thursday morning I went out later than usual for chores and found Honey and her twin girls! Oh happy day!

After admiring Honey's babies I picked one up, put it in front of her face and led her into the "jug" (a little temporary stall where they live for about 24 hours to bond) Honey followed her right in with her other lamb following right behind. Success! My sheep are not interested in having any relationship with me so I was worried about how to get Honey in her jug but this worked perfectly.

I had a hard time getting anything done yesterday what with all the oooooing and ahhhhing over the babies. I snuggled each of them for a minute or two but otherwise left them all alone--watching from a distance. So precious!

Last night Brad woke me up after spotting a head emerging from No Name (my brother was so upset by this and promptly named her Suzy) on the video camera he had set up in the barn. We went out to see and found the first one had been born--a little boy with a black head, brown edging to his ears, and white markings under his eyes.

After about 30 minutes of meticulously cleaning this new baby boy lamb, Suzy gave birth to a little white girl! This little girl was smaller than her brother and at first seemed very strong. She stood faster and went searching for Suzy's udder right away but never seemed to get anything from it. This morning she seems cold, tiny, and uncertain. Every time she tries to nurse, she can't find the teat. She does the head butt to the udder thing but then doesn't get the teat in her mouth. After talking to our sheep friend we went off to the farm store and bought milk replacer, nutria-drench (vitamins and molasses) and nipples that go on a water bottle. I gave baby girl a few cc's of the drench and then bottle fed her some milk replacer and put her back in with her mom. We'll see how it goes. Maybe she just needs a little bit of food to build up enough strength to nurse from her mom. That's the hope anyway!

Update--little white girl is doing great! 

Zaaaaaaap!

I can't tell if the fence is on...lean over to see if the light is flashing...
and rest my hand DIRECTLY on the wire going into the charger. 

"F*$!#!!!!"

Yes, it's on.

Ow!